People ask me, “Hey, Drub. Are you taking any commissions?” I grimace and get very uncomfortable.
“No. Not right now,” I say.
I try to weasel out and not say anything specific. Above is something I did a couple of years ago and afterwards I came to a bit of a crossroads. Do I continue doing art for the leather community, forever donating art to their raffle baskets and not getting anything more than a pat on the back or do I stop, regroup, refocus, and start making art for myself again. You know, that stuff that made people stop and take a look through my work that first go ’round.
Right now, I’m not taking any commissions. “But…but… you promised to draw me inside a turkey, inside a duck, for my erotic Thanksgiving Day celebration!” Yes. Yes. I know. We’ll get to it. Don’t worry. Anything new, I’m holding off on collaborations with anyone else until I’m ready. I’m not doing any work for anyone else that I haven’t previously given my promise to before I went on hiatus.
“But you still haven’t really said ‘why’?”
**sigh** I know. With magazines essentially dead and everyone going to DIY Zines and photography, you’d think I’d jump at doing illustrations for anyone. Well, as you see above, you work with the inspiration you are given and you don’t put everything in your portfolio simply because you made it. Heck, there are pieces I’ve done for myself that I don’t think deserve a place in my gallery, so I kept them out. I always said, way back when I first started, that if this stuff became a chore, I’d just stop. And I did. There were other contributing factors to this decision in the first place (ie. life) but I’m not going to go into them here because there are
people trolls who tattoo others with a brush that was meant for themselves. And quite frankly, that’s none of anyone’s business.
“So, what’s up now? You’re making work again. You’ve done many pieces, some line work and there are three in the gallery since Christmas and…”
Yeah, yeah. But I did that for me. The more I do stuff for people out there with needs to fill, I’m just being a big art bottom and I need to be more of an art top right now. Okay?
I’ve got several things to do for myself or for others. One being the restarting of this whole art making process. Two, being several commissions I abandoned and another for a cover for a comic book writer I promised to do. And three, I’d really would like to put a book together by this December for obvious reasons. December isn’t a date that I’ve set to open doors on collaborations, it’s just a goal for myself, so don’t get crazy ideas.
This book idea may be a collection of work. It may be a comic book. I don’t know yet. We’ll see. Right now I’m just really happy playing in my proverbial belly button.