This is just what you need – another list of must have music, hot-or-not people, events that will always be remembered as a “2007 Event”, right? Or maybe some wistful, dreamy, dewy-eyed dream for the new year that is now upon us?
Fuck that noise.
I’m going to attempt to re-frame that annual idea as more of a high colonic for all the shit we’ve had to put up with from people I rather wish would just remove themselves from existence. I’ll attempt to vent frustration on some other things that the powers-that-be deemed newsworthy when they actually were not.
I don’t want to hear any more quotes from Paris Hilton, Larry the Cableguy, or any other Huxleyan Gamma Minus that the all too stupid press is hungry to pick up and make nonsense with which to amuse the abundant flock of average nattering numskulls with no ability for rational thought.
And speaking of the Epsilon class… Perez Hilton, please go away. Who died and left this hack access to copyrighted photos, rudimentary photo editing software to “doodle” upon said photos, and the self-inflated ego to comment and fabricate gossip about celebrities we could give two shits about? The man is a professional gay harpy and an amateur human being and if you link to him in your blog-roll, you’ve got problems too.
I can’t watch CNN any more. This year it seems they’ve gone all out trying to retain viewers instead of actual reporting. Glenn Beck? Are you shitting me? Why don’t you just film a cactus for an hour and put that on. At least then you’d get something out of it. I wish this station would close it’s doors. Lynn Russell, save us!
Hey, St. Liberace! Keep your nose out of the politics of a country who is moving forward with a logical progression in human rights. You are a religious leader, stick to what you know. The last time I read the news, gays and lesbians that got married in the few places where it is legal weren’t invading other countries, wrecking other married couple’s homes and taking lives. I think you guys did it best when you called it the Crusades.
So this year, the world finally gets global warming and the argument is over. Everyone and every business seems to be climbing on board to show how green they are and how they are effectively reducing their ‘carbon footprint.’ Fantastic, now where the hell are those hydrogen cars Bush talked about in 2002? If a Honda Civic can get 52 miles/gallon on the highway, don’t you think it’s about time the automotive industry got pulled by the short hairs into this reality we are all living in? I want to see a real drop in the dependency on oil and some actual, usable innovation come out of this industry. You got that, Ford? Ford? Somebody check on Ford because I’m not getting a pulse.
Everyone gets that the Republican Party is full of corrupt, duplicitous, greedy, hypocritical, war-mongering, faux religious, corporate shills who get away with whatever they want? Ok. Good. Moving on.
Everyone gets that the Democratic Party couldn’t fight it’s way out of a paper bag or organize a piss-up in a brewery, right? That includes you, Senator Feinstein and Harry Reid. A pox on your house for not standing with Christopher Dodd over the illegal wire tapping fight he and a mere handful of your party members took to filibuster and had it pulled, but will likely be resurrected when Congress reconvenes. And the pat answers written back to me as if spit out by robot? Lame. I’ve never seen a bigger bunch of lily-livered, overpaid jerks in all my life. You work for us.
No more girl jeans on guys! No more of that Growing Up Gotti hair on guys! (I call this style, The Mup. You’ve seen it. It looks like a dirty mop end and makes the guy look like an absolute muppet.) I’m sure that as soon as this 70′s revival fad passes, the great unwashed inevitably will come up with something abysmally worse. Remember the faux-hawk?
Morrissey. Oh, Morrissey! What the hell is wrong with you? Suing the NME over the comments you made in an interview? For the sake of all things sensible, you are the son of an Irish immigrant, you lived in Los Angeles and now live in Italy and you make xenophobic comments about immigration? This is staggeringly bizarre. Then you blame the guy who recorded the comments? It creeps me out that I have music in my collection that sounds more and more like a Tory MP with each gray hair.
No more reality television. Ever. And don’t talk to me about it like I might care. Go read a book!
During the writer strike, Keith Olbermann has been a welcome discovery this year. Keep up the good fight, Keith!
I have to try to scale back my ideas for things I’d like to do, like trying to learn Spanish, which I never started. Maybe I should set the bar low and try to be more social? Hmm… Maybe I should just learn Spanish.
