At 18 months, I knew more than my A-B-C’s, I could speak in full sentences and was completely potty trained. By age two, I had a high school reading level. If I wasn’t playing in the woods out behind my parent’s home, I was somewhere reading books like Treasure Island, Tom Sawyer or Peter Pan. I loved reading and these books filled with characters that helped fuel my game playing and daily activities. I suppose these books affected me greatly as a young kid and were helpful in supplying me with plenty of ammunition to fill lazy summer afternoons with fun and I’m thankful for those creations to this very day.

Tonight, I watched a wonderful movie staring the fantastic Johnny Depp called Finding Neverland. If you haven’t seen it I suggest you rent it. The film beautifully transposed a semi-autobiographical J.M. Barrie and the Llewelyn-Davies family with the fantastic realism of J.M. Barrie’s mind. In Finding Neverland, there are some amazing scenes which I was moved to tears, especially at the climax. That said, there were some things that were off from reality of what really went on, like the husband of Sylvia Llewelyn-Davies was still alive, there were 5 children and not 4, the film ignores the psychogenic dwarfism of Barrie, and even though the movie was magically crafted to have a happy-ever-after ending when in life it was fraught with tragedy, I still managed to love the it for the well crafted tale that reinforced all the underlying fascination human beings have of others who possess the gift a select few are gifted with: imagination.

Now, I’m not going to start blathering about how great it would be to never grow up or to be able to fly or some nonsense, but I do believe you can achieve great things simply by believing in one’s own abilities when the cleverness to see the ends to those means to create things to give people a glimpse at what goes on inside your head. It gives me some hope in humanity.

That said, I really have to lash out at people (artists and those who think they know what “real” art is) who turn the concept of imagination on it’s head and shit down it’s throat. An article in the Telegraph about the problem with museum collections is a sickening read about the absolute pompousness of the museums and artists and complete lack of artistic merit that so many pieces deemed relevant by… somebody, I’m nearly on the floor laughing at the stupidity of it all. These artists are people who collect money from various organizations for artwork that requires a dialog to understand them when their art can’t stand alone and speak for itself. Why? Well, for one, it’s just falling apart and the concepts are absurd as the circus surrounding it.

So the next time you hear or read that I’m criticized for what I do (“It is what it is, folks.”), take some time to forward on that article to give them something to ponder.

So Ms. Uffish did this on her blog “If Your Life Was a Movie, What Would the Soundtrack Be?” and it seems to be a meme that is going around, so I figured I’d give it a try. Maybe you might?

The rules:

1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc.)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that’s playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don’t lie and try to pretend you’re cool…

Opening Credits:
“Love Is A Stranger” by Eurythmics
Love, love, love is a dangerous drug. You have to receive it and you still can’t get enough of the stuff. So my life as a movie is a desperate cry for love? Hmm. Don’t answer that.

Waking Up:
“Invisible Ink” by Aimee Mann
Man. That’s not exactly a good start to a day if that’s the song I wake up to.

First Day at School:
“Low Low Low” by James
Pretty much sums up what I think of people in general and society and school is a personification of that.

Falling In Love:
“I Want The One I Can’t Have” by The Smiths
Tell me something I don’t know, but I don’t give up that easy.

Fight Song:
“Lost Out Again” by Stubborn All-Stars
Great. This blows. I lose the fight?

Breaking Up:
“Sweet Song” by Blur
The perfect break up song and so appropriate.

Prom:
“You, Baby” by the Ronettes
Awwww.

Life:
“Prophet” by The Slackers
Perfection. Ready. Aim. Fire.

Mental Breakdown:
“Bad Reputation” by Joan Jett
I’ve never been afraid of any deviation and I dont really care if ya think that I’m strange.

Driving:
“Ghost Band” by Rancid
Where the hell am I driving? In a graveyard of metaphor?

Flashback:
“Ziggy Stardust” by David Bowie
So where exactly was I that glam?

Getting Back Together:
“Yesterday, When I Was Mad” by Pet Shop Boys
So? I’m not one for taking somebody back or apologizing when I am wronged.

Wedding:
“The Universal” by Blur
It really, really, really could happen. Yes, it really, really, really could happen that I could get married. Really?

Birth of Child:
“Wake Up Screaming” by Subhumans
Not going to happen so if it did, this nightmare would best be described like this.

Final Battle:
“Stutter” by Elastica
So is it a fist fight or am I beating a guy into submission and having my way with him? So many questions.

Death Scene:
“Slide Show” by Travis
Bitter ’til the very end. Confused. Why do I go out this way?

Funeral Song
“I Go To Sleep” by the Pretenders
Oh man. Yikes!

End Credits:
“It Takes Blood and Guts To Be This Cool But I’m Still Just A Cliché” by Skunk Anansie
Ha! Ha! Wow… I’ll take it.

This weekend has been full of ups and downs to the point where I really don’t feel like I had much of a weekend.

I’m totally getting over an infection in my nose which was really hideous. Note to self: Don’t pluck nose hair, trim it. Thank goodness for great science as antibiotics are kicking the infection out of my septum. The downside is that my septum piercing has closed shut, at least by the looks of it. I know there’s still some swelling but I may have to get it re-pierced, which would suck.

I did manage to get two new pieces done this week!

Then when I’m out doing chores, my car dies on me. My insurance is completely inept at understanding the English language. I told the bitch on the other end that I was stalled at a gas station at Costco (I had to spell it for her and correct her 3 or 4 times – “No! Not Conoco. Cost Co. COST co. COST CO!”), gave her all my info from license plate number to insurance number. I get off the phone with her and realize, she doesn’t have my cell number to call me when the tow truck is coming or what the tow truck company’s name is. I try to call back as she instructed if there was any changes and they couldn’t find my order because the bimbo must have it open on her screen! So I wait for over an hour not knowing what’s going to happen and call back to demand to know where the tow truck is. More “I don’t know you or when, what, how” and I yell at her that she should probably just let the phone ring and stare at it because she’s that useful. I hang up just as the tow truck guy gets there.

He’s buttoning his pants as he gets out of the truck and looking at him is kind of putting me off. Why couldn’t be be hot like the young cub (with a bear claw tattoo even!) who towed my car when the clutch gave out? Ah well.

What this guy lacked in looks he made up for in brains. He told me I just needed a jump start and not anything more because it’s just as simple as getting a new battery. Well that was a load off my mind! I thanked him profusely and tipped him $5 for his trouble.

I then went off to meet up with the man who runs the show over at Active Duty for dinner. He’s now the proud owner of these 4 fine pieces of art! We talked a long time and revisited old history and new ideas and it looks like I’m going to be busy with work for him and I think it’s pretty cool.
Today, I got my new battery and installed it and my car is just fine!

All in all, I guess it ended ok.

“Wake up.”

A slap stings my face.

“Wake UP!”

My bed rocks a bit and the thick sole of a boot scrapes against my naked chest and then my nose is filled with a deep sweaty smell. My room is dark and it’s the middle of the night.

“Eat it,” that same voice, demanding my attention.
(more…)

Since I was kind of asked to come up with my own list, here is my favorite punk songs/albums at the moment, in no particular order:

1. Casualties – Underground Army
   This record is as relevant in 1998 as it is today. Screaming, loud, moshpit anthems with a message. With a shared disgust for nazi scum, lawful injustice, and the rich – what is there to not like?
2. The Exploited – The Massacre
   Perfectly loud and obnoxious. Dirty and wrong in some instances but so worth it! Of course, any band who can go from talking about a “Porno Slut” turning them on to telling religion to go fuck itself has got me before they’ve even said hello. Pure anger on tracks like “Boys In Blue”, “Soldier Boy” and “Police Shit” pretty much sums up all I think about cops and the armed services.
3. Lars Frederiksen And The Bastards – self titled first album
   A side project from that hunk and a half Lars from Rancid. “To Have And To Have Not”, “Leavin Here”, and “Skunx” showcase his ability to paint a picture and isn’t preachy like some punk bands can be. I like this album more because the hoochie mamas aren’t on the cover, it’s a damn good album, and from what everyone says about Lars is that he’s a stand up guy and doesn’t act like a lame rock star in person.
4. Left Alone – Dead American Radio
   Much like the same kind of chord and tradition as Operation Ivy or Rancid (essentially the same band), this band has a mix of styles one might not think would come out of their mouths. Ska, punk, rockabilly influences all make their rounds on this excellent album. I’d be called out if I didn’t point at the drummer and start yelling “Band Candy”, but unlike bands Travis Barker has been in, I can actually say this band has it together. Me like-y and the song about Emo bitches is priceless.
5. Varukers – (it’s hard to pick just one album so…) 1980-2005
   A good collection to start with if you haven’t heard them, so pick it up. “Modem of Destruction” is a good song and I dedicate it to all those White Power idiots out there who can’t keep their hands off their peckers when they see a swastika. Go back to your job at the bank, you asshole. That’s their theme song, or at least it should be. Other than that, this band makes me think of being beer soaked and happy in Kansas City.
6. Vice Squad – The BBC Sessions
   Who can resist a female fronted punk band? I can’t. My ultimate weakness, like blueberry pie. I saw them when they played the Social Chaos tour in 2000. Which was nice as they’ve been around for some time now. Beki Bondage brings it and the band is still going strong!
7. Subhumans – Live In A Dive
   Seeing these guys in Seattle last year made me realize what an important band they are. So, it’s not a leap of faith to say this is a good album. Makes me think of my time in Seattle and the great music and this is a mandatory listen (or any of their albums, with UNFINISHED BUSINESS being at the top of the list). Make sure it’s the U.K. band, not the Canadian one.
8. The Oppressed
   Strong, vocal opponents of the British National Front and a staple in anyone’s collection who is worth their salt. Nothing bad can be said about anti-facist oi! music unless you want me to look at your funny.
9. Rancid – Let’s Go!
   Probably and arguably my favorite Rancid collection of tunes. Not one for the sophomore jinx, this album is solid and strong and sets the stage for the collections to come from them and the multitude of side projects and bands they inspired and perform on. You can just tell they enjoy and love their music and the scene.
10. The Clash – London Calling
    The thinking man’s punk music and Rancid probably owes their entire career to this band. I can listen to this cd set over and over again and not get bored. Everyone knows these classics and if you don’t you should really check them out.

As you know, I’ve been busy getting work done for a client. I posted the sketch below as well as the ink outline. Now, for your enjoyment – here is the finished piece and a detail.

I couldn’t help myself. I’m just giddy and Boingboing isn’t helping me stop the giggling. Thanks! And for those of you who need to understand the origin of this meme, you must read this article and the history to get it. I know it’s silly, but I couldn’t help but riff off what George tried to joke about today when he conceded defeat. Here’s my contribution to this meme.

… and they keep saying “Fuck You!”

My mother and aunt have me on this list of people they like to send out the most hideous chain letters, email hoaxes they believe in, and “jokes” (notice how loosely I refer to the later). If it’s not cute baby duckies or somebody’s ass painted up to look like a pumpkin for Halloween, it’s some lame email about Supporting Our Troops™ (By what? Sending me the email equivalent to slapping a ribbon sticker on your SUV?) or it’s some low-brow attempt at political humor that is incredibly racist and religio-fascist.

I get this shining gem in my email today, complete with caption:

2,000 years ago, Moses said, “Pick up your shovel, pack your ass, mount your camel and I shall lead you to the Promised Land.”

200-plus years ago, George Washington said, “Get off your ass, use your shovel, clear the land, grow plants for camels and it will be the Promised Land.”

Last year, the Congress of the United States said “Si, Amigos, throw away your shovel, sit on your ass, light your Camels, we’re giving you the Promised Land.”

Instantly, my head popped out of it’s socket. That’s it! That’s enough! No more fucking around! This ends now.

I took the image, opened up Photoshop and began to work. A couple of Google searches got me the images I wanted, some quick and dirty text editing, background repainting, and BEHOLD! The Driver’s License of The Future!

I copied all the people on the list, not caring about who I offended, and attached the image to the following email:

Here’s what the drivers license of the future will look like if we continue to “stay the course”…

Yes… be careful what you send to me. I have Photoshop and I think it’s still legal to be clever. I don’t care who you vote for – Democrat, Green Party, Libertarian, Librarian, or My Favorite Martian… just don’t vote Republican.

They’ve had their chance and it’s time for them to go.

I guess that means no cha-cha heels for Christmas.

People have commissioned some crazy pieces, bought stuff specifically for their play rooms and bedrooms, and even tattooed it on their bodies – but never have they taken a piece of mine and made it into a cake.

I think it’s brilliant! One of the guys who is a co-owner of the Denver Eagle had a birthday. He is a fan and from what his friends figured out… a big one and what a better gift to give than this. Check out the gallery.

The piece in question:
The Other White Meat

I’m so happy to see this… you just don’t know!