This hedonist loves to play. My 5 senses are my religion and I’m a very passionate person.

For what it’s worth, I’ve made a bet with myself to remain celibate for the next year. This means nothing past 2nd base for me so I can get my priorities sorted. I don’t see it like some who might try to quit smoking, but more like a study in human nature as I don’t see myself as being addicted to the act, instead more like a science experiment complete with taking notes on what makes me a stronger person and what really nearly makes me break. I’m on week 7 of my sexy-strike of self-discovery. It will be blogged about.

I’ve had some interesting reactions to declining sex so far which range from “Yeah, right.” to “What? That’s bizarre and you’ve lost your damned mind.” to “If you change your mind, you have my phone number.” Even more curious are those that see this as a challenge to their own libidinous natures, ie. How can I get you to (show me your) crack? So far, I’ve not had to push anyone away physically, as we all know I tend to go a bit melty when certain somebodies makes me look at them right in the eyes and get all forcefully grabby and breathy, so if I wiggle away, look away or don’t make eye contact with you, don’t take it personally… or, perhaps, do? Thankfully, most of the enticing offers/challenges have come from the online community and have been much farther away than a 10 minute car ride. Some of you are quickly making it on a list of people I am not to be left alone with should two or more of you collude and gang up on me deciding to play “Let’s Tempt the Lusty Priest of Perv”. You will be ex-communicated if I should fall from grace and you will be labelled forevermore – Lucifer’s Slippery Bell-End. I’ve already nearly chewed the edge of my desk off twice like a Tex Avery cartoon, so stop sending me pictures of your beautifully sculpted pecker, pucker, or bedroom eyes. I don’t even want to see your feet. You are making this very, very, gulp, hard.

Don’t think I can do it? Well, I’ve already cut out television from my routine. The prohibitive AT&T U-Verse bill certainly nudged me out of my lame-brained habit of plopping down on the couch and watching shows I absolutely detest. I’m actually amazed at how much television I don’t watch now, outside of a NOVA special or something on PBS.

The main reason I want to push myself in this manner is to scientifically see if this has a bearing on my level of creativity. In this past year, and it’s not a lie or a boast, I’ve had a LOT of sex (most of it terrible!) and I’ve created absolutely ZERO new artwork or finished any pieces I’ve started. Horrifying. And if we follow out this mathematical sexual equation: the greater the amount of sex, the lesser amount of creativity and time devoted to being arty. And if the correlation is correct, then I can also do it with the news, politics, and the devil a lot of us know – Facebook. Which, if we extrapolate this puppy out, more time for cooking, yard work, etc. and incidentally, more money in my pocket.

Things that are excluded are masturbation by myself, kissing (oh! the gateway drug! …but I will allow it. Just don’t be upset if I throw you to the floor yelling, “Get out! Get out! Foul demon, get out!”), sexy chit-chat and sex toys.

Things that are included: Anything past 2nd base with another person in the room, touching under the clothing, engaging in any kinky horseplay (bondage, wearing rubber, getting into jlube fights, et. al.) with one or more people, and hanging out with another person with the purpose of doing the nasty. This means, do not grab my wang or thrust your hand down the back of my jeans to “poke the kitty”.

This means no ComiCon for me as it’s sensory overload. I can just see that if somebody clever enough, seductively loquacious enough, with the devil in their eyes decided to speak a few well-placed, sweet somethings in my ear or along the nape of my neck, I’d be a goner on my knees in your hotel room praising all that is holy before me or perhaps in less nicer, less clean facilities. And I don’t need any of you thinking it’s funny and ganging up on me there, chasing me through the convention center in some sort of psycho-sexual Night of the Living Dead yelling, “We’re coming to get you, Barbara!” because some of you geeks are way too hot and that’s playing with fire. I’ll stay home with my green tea and my ice cream, thank you very much. I’m deadly serious.

All that said, there are some key things I am setting as goals that I must accomplish in this long, dry year. The obvious one is doing artwork again. The second one is joining a gym and tearing up this slight frame to be reborn as something better, stronger, and something worth whistling at. I don’t want to ring in year 37 with a spare tire any more than I want to approach 40 (good grief!) farther down the hill than I anticipated. “The body is a temple”, or so they say. Third, I believe I have the mental fortitude and doing is proving.

See you around Memorial Day.

In London, The Gay Sex & Fetish Awards are on!

Spike Rhodes, a seasoned club promoter whose past clubs include Warriors, Renegades, Sleaze and DNA, announces the launch of London’s first Gay Sex & Fetish Awards at Union on Saturday 6th December, together with his newest Club “Filth!” on the dance-floor making it a dance party with awards and a fundraiser for GMFA.

At “Filth!”, I’ve kindly donated my art to be projected onto the walls of the club night to help create an atmosphere and lend some color to a very likely colorfully night!! So…

The Awards website londongayfetishawards.com lists categories of clubs, events, artists (cough! cough! ahem! me!) and organizations. During the first weeks you will be also able to nominate others to be considered in the first stage. The site will be monitored by scene-out.com who will count and adjudicate votes, so it’s all above board.

Two weeks prior to the event, the most popular nominees will be shortlisted for the final vote and then once the votes have been counted, the winners will be announced at the event. There will also be a few special awards on the night honoring the pioneers and heroes who have been at the forefront of the S&M and fetish scene and have been overlooked by the gay scene for far too long.

The site has links to all websites and for some less experienced visitors, it could be a chance to discover new clubs, groups or organizations and maybe find something out about them.

London has 14 fetish venues with over 18 different club nights dedicated to all things pleasurable, yet still many customers don’t feel comfortable saying that they go to these nights, fearing they may be judged by their friends. By doing these awards, it’s like coming out of the dark and celebrating what we do.

So register, log on and VOTE!

The London Gay Sex & Fetish Awards 2008 will take place on Saturday 6 December at Union, 66 Albert Embankment, Vauxhall SE11.

Last weekend I felt really prolific. Since I took some time off to go up to Los Angeles to take my ‘safety course’ (complete joke), I took an extra day off to decompress.

I did 7 new drawings and inked them in and started painting them this week! Three skate deck designs, one t-shirt design, 2 new pieces I came up with just so I could draw with my right hand and wank with my left and one so incredibly sweet I hope none of you vomit on yourself when you see it. I’ve got lots to work on!

So to celebrate this sudden rush of artistic expression here are 3 new banner ads for your website, blog, or social networking site (click the gallery below, then click the thumbnail on the page that comes up to display the actual large animated banner). I’ll also add them to the other downloads here. Enjoy!

I’m packed and heading back to San D tonight with my suitcase well emptied out from all the cards I sold! It’s a cool, sunny morning here in San Francisco and I have to get moving to meet up with an old friend for lunch.

I spent most of the time behind the table at my booth so wonderfully and thoughtfully donated to artists like me, only taking a slow plod to head off to the port-o-potties to take the biggest leak in the universe. I’ve got some funny stories, met old college friends, new faces, and lots of thank you emails to write down and put out there.

Once again, I’m so glad to be in the esteemed category and company of such excellent artists and creative people who brought this all together. You guys are the best!!

Until I’m back in Sunny San D – I’m signing out to go for a walk and a bite to eat.

Since 2000, BananaGuide‘s mission has been to entertain and inform gay men about Web-based porn through their blog, galleries, site reviews and Web directory. It’s won tons of accolades from many sites and magazines and now they’ve thrown a bunch of questions at me, so I dropped my pants. No really. It’s so NSFW!

Check out the interview just completed over at BananaGuide

I think I knew spring was right around the corner even before that fat rat in the ground poked his lazy head up. How? Easy. Things are happening, growing, people are doing stuff. It’s a sure sign that spring is coming early this year!

I’m all fresh from my trip to New York and hob-nobbin’ with all sorts of people and suppose it’s why I’m so excited. I’m mega pleased to announce that the Leatherman in NYC is going to start carrying my greeting cards this following week. I shipped off my first batch to them and I’m hoping they do really well as it’s my first venture on the North American continent with people who get my work! And a little birdy tells me (and no, not the swallows on my neck – that’d be just crazy.) that it’s just the beginning.

I’m also pleased to announce a new queer punk party moving in place the first floor of the EagleNYC. Out with Buzzcock and in with Oi! It’ll have all your familiar faces you’ve grown to love with it’s earlier renditions, but this time it’s more of a DIY movement where everyone has a say and contributes. Kyle the Bootblack, Bejay the Dj, Barber Andy and Jake the Barber, Moxie managing the party, and the return of everyone’s favorite band of drunken whores – WHISKEY AND WHORES! The party kicks off Friday the 13th in April! Be there! Check out the Oi NYC MySpace page for updates.

I couldn’t help myself. I’m just giddy and Boingboing isn’t helping me stop the giggling. Thanks! And for those of you who need to understand the origin of this meme, you must read this article and the history to get it. I know it’s silly, but I couldn’t help but riff off what George tried to joke about today when he conceded defeat. Here’s my contribution to this meme.

People have commissioned some crazy pieces, bought stuff specifically for their play rooms and bedrooms, and even tattooed it on their bodies – but never have they taken a piece of mine and made it into a cake.

I think it’s brilliant! One of the guys who is a co-owner of the Denver Eagle had a birthday. He is a fan and from what his friends figured out… a big one and what a better gift to give than this. Check out the gallery.

The piece in question:
The Other White Meat

I’m so happy to see this… you just don’t know!

I admit it. I love Project Runway and have since I caught the first episode. It’s got that whole art school feel while being a contest to see which of your favorites can bust out the results on challenges, mixing just enough of what I can only imagine the idiot producers call “TV gold” or some inane bull to describe the motley crew assembled to compete.

In Season 3, my favorite was Michael, but he bit it in the final show, with Laura and Uli jumping immediately to the forefront of who I expected to win, given their strong and gorgeous showings. But it wasn’t to be… instead the producers (in my humble opinion) intervened to give the bad boy the prize they’d had a hard-on for since Santino showed his face in hoping to create the magic of Season 1 with the back story by handing it to Jeffrey Sabilius. No dice, I think. It’s the curse of Jay McCarrol. Nobody can hope to live up to him.

I’m not trying to say Jeffrey is a no talent hack. He’s not Santino after all. I so wanted to like him upon seeing him, but like so many guys I find initially interesting (shame on me for perking up at the first sign of eye-candy!) my fancy deflates like an untied party balloon. He’s abrasive, snipes at people who don’t deserve it, and made it hard to get past to his creations. *shrug* I don’t know, congrats to him. Success even. Just stop making people’s moms cry who don’t understand creative processes.

I leave you with this last thought. Not my joke, by my ex-roommate’s from Kansas City. Who knew a Cardasian would win Season 3?

Sorry I was so grouchy yesterday. Annoying people get to me when I can’t punch them in the teeth. I get shit like that off my chest and move on. I did. I also went to bed after that.

Just to make up for it, I want to list a bunch of things that really make me happy:

Blueberry pie – home made and fresh picked blueberries, crust made from scratch. This is a sure way to win my heart.

The new issue of Dwell Magazine. It’s all about pre-fabs (I ♥ Pre-Fabs!) and the photos are nothing short of porn.

Sims 2: Open For Business. It’s now available for the Mac.

A friend of mine is in town and we are going to go see Short Bus. Be sure to check out the uncensored trailer!

Sketching hot, dirty commissions for dirty pigs always puts a smile on my face and a tent in my jock.

Sketching cheeky scooter patches for SQREAM.

Barack Obama. And then there is the growing consensus that the Republicans are going to lose a lot of seats in government in the mid-term elections and people finally coming around to where I was when I initially voted against the Shrub. This makes me positively giddy!